


I Need You (Shades Alvarez x Reader)

by misseva



Category: Luke Cage (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23876542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misseva/pseuds/misseva
Summary: Getting into a dangerous situation you have no other choice than to call your ex boyfriend, the one you so desperately try to forget.
Relationships: Shades Alvarez x Reader, Shades Alvarez x You, Shades Alvarez/Reader, Shades Alvarez/You
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

It was a cold night in New York when you made your way back from work. Working at the other side of the city and having to get back to Harlem in the middle of the night wasn’t one of the best things about your life but especially not tonight - a night when everything seemed to go wrong.

Your mood wasn’t the best with having to work late, then your bus being cancelled and absolutely no chance of getting a cab. All you had left was to walk all the way back home on foot through dubious neighborhoods and dimly lit streets.

And before having a chance to hold yourself back, you thought about him. How easily you would have just called him a few months ago, asking him to pick you up. But that was before you ended things. So calling him was definitely not an option. And even thinking about him still hurt, though you wouldn’t admit that to yourself. You quickly pushed the thought away as you moved on along a quiet street, wishing you were already at home.

Still busy grumping about your bad luck tonight, you almost didn’t notice them. There had been a strange feeling ever since you left work but you assumed it to be just the typical fear a woman had when she had to walk the streets alone in the dark. But the feeling of being followed grew stronger and stronger the further you walked. Trying your best to convince yourself that everything was ok, you pushed on, walking even faster. But after a while you couldn’t take it anymore and you slowly turned your head, to look over your shoulder. Just a few steps behind you, you could see the silhouettes of two men, one bigger than the other. ‘Don’t be silly, they’re just walking home, just like you.’, you tried to calm yourself.

But when they were still behind you a few blocks later and after taking various turns, you weren’t that sure anymore. Turning your head slightly left, you could see their reflections in a shop window. Didn’t they close in on you? That was when panic started to fill you.

_What do they want from me?_  
_What can I do?_  
_I’m all alone here._  
_What if they want to hurt me?_  
_What if…_

But you couldn’t allow your panic to overwhelm you completely, you needed to somehow get rid of them. Increasing your pace you walked faster and faster, desperately trying to throw them off. When you rushed around the next corner, you spotted something that could at least buy you some time: a small diner that still seemed to be open. Without a second thought you hurried inside.

Taking a seat furthest away from the window, fear started to seize hold of you again.

_What now?_  
_I can’t stay here all night._  
_What if they wait for me outside?_  
_I have nowhere left to go._

And suddenly, calling Hernan didn’t seem too much of a bad idea. Wasn’t he used to dealing with situations like this one? Didn’t he say he’d always protect you, no matter what?

_But isn’t he the real danger?_  
_I need to stay away from him._  
_Calling him is wrong._  
_But do I have a choice?_

Asking your ex boyfriend for help was something you’d consider only in an absolute emergency. But that certainly was the case right now. After a short inner debate with yourself, you put out your phone and dialed his number.

****

Hernan had always been busy, but since he was working for Luke Cage, the new King of Harlem, he was busier than ever. Yet, when his phone rang, and he saw it was her, he forgot everything else and worry started to flood his mind. She hadn’t called him for months. And with the way she had left him, the only reason for her to call him, was that she got into trouble.

Without hesitating he accepted the call, immediately hearing her voice: “Hernan a-are you there? I need your help.”, she sounded rushed and nervous. Putting himself together, he tried to sound as calm as possible, when he answered. “Y/N, where are you?”

***

Twenty minutes after you had called him, he already arrived. And yet - to you - it felt like you had been waiting for ages. But in the moment when he finally came through the door, you felt safe. Under normal circumstances you would hate yourself for that, but nothing was normal right now, was it?

You jumped up and rushed towards him, almost tripping over your own feet. As you stood before him, you could smell his familiar scent and had to fight the urge not to fall into his arms.

Don’t forget why you left him.  
He’s a criminal.  
You shouldn’t feel safe around him.  
You’re over him.  
Over him.

“I came as fast as I could, what happened?”, he began, his voice calm and stoic, but one look into his eyes told you how worried he had been for you. For just a moment you thought he would take your hand and a small part of you was disappointed when he didn’t.

The sense of calm Hernan radiated made you feel better immediately, you had to admit that. But you still needed to get out of here. “Can we leave at first, please?”

His car was parked directly in front of the diner and when the two of you finally took off, you told him everything about the two guys supposedly following you. After you finished your story, he was quiet for a moment. Just when you started feeling uneasy, he broke the silence. “Did you see how they looked like?”

Concentrating for a moment, you tried your best to remember. “It was dark and they had their hoods on, but I remember one of the guys being really small.” You thought for a moment, then you remembered what you had seen in the reflection of a shop window.

“The other one was pretty big… and had this strange tattoo on his hand.” You swore, you could see Hernan stiffen for a moment, then it passed and left you confused. “What tattoo?”, it was his calm voice again. You could see the tattoo in your mind. “It was green, a snake - maybe a cobra?” Now he definitely stiffened.

“Hernan, talk to me. What do you know?” No answer. “Hernan!”, you almost shouted this time, which seemed to rip him out of his thoughts. “We’ll talk about this at home.” You needed a moment to let his answer sink in, then you noticed where he was driving. This was not the way to your apartment.

“Hernan what the hell are y-”, but he wouldn’t let you finish. “Y/N, I won’t leave you alone right now, you’re in danger. You’re staying at mine until this issue is resolved.” You opened your mouth, ready to protest, just to be cut off by him again. “I won’t discuss this with you right now. I need to protect you. You’ll have to trust me for now.” You wanted to protest, needed to, but realised it was of no use.

Sitting in his car quietly, you wondered what was scaring you more, being follwed by dubious guys in the middle of the night, or being at Hernan’s mercy, your criminal ex-boyfriend, the one that lied to you, that kept you in the dark about his past, the one you thought you were over but maybe weren’t over after all. You didn’t know the answer to that question. But you were afraid you’d find out soon enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having arrived at Hernan’s apartment, you finally confront him and demand some answers about your mysterious persecutors.

After all that had happened that night you were just exhausted. Following Hernan up the stairs to his apartment quietly, the only thing you wanted was to sleep. But you were worried and your urge to know more about what this was all about kept you awake.

Hernan turning the key and opening the apartment door brought you back to reality. Holding the door open for you, he let you step in first. A wave of mixed emotions invaded your mind. You had spend so much time here, almost lived here for a while in fact.

But that was all history. You tried to shake off your melancholic thoughts. As if he could read your mind, Hernan smoothly took off his shades, giving you an tight smile. “Make yourself at home!”

You could only answer with a heavy sigh, placing your handbag on the sideboard and getting out of your jacket. Everything felt so familiar but you couldn’t let that make you get weak. Not after all that haopened between you. When Hernan made a move to leave into the kitchen, you finally found your words.

“Hernan, we need to talk.” He stopped and turned to you. More confidently, you added: “You owe me answers.” Now it was his turn to sigh and you could see the frown on his face. “Fine, go sit on the couch, I’ll be there in a second, then we talk.”

***

Getting a bottle of water and two glasses, Hernan made his way to the living room. As much as he had hoped to have her here again, he really wished the circumstances were easier. Not only was she in trouble, it was also his fault. But he knew he had to tell her, even if that meant she would only despise him more.

Placing the water on the living room table and sitting down next to her, Hernan could feel the tension inside him to grow. He somehow had to manage the situation, had to tell her all that happened, but without making her run from him, without losing control over the situation. Over her.

***

You were done waiting. Arching a brow, you looked at your ex boyfriend expectedly. “So?”

Clearing his throat, he finally began to speak. “The guys that followed you tonight, I might know who they are.” Tugging his shirt into place, he continued. “And I might be the reason why they are after you.” Hernan was clearly avoiding eye contact with you, which was uncommon for him. But at the moment you were too busy to give attention to that, digesting the new information given to you. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Hernan collected himself, taking a sip of his water. “Alright, back when I was in Seagate the last time, when I first got to know Cage, I was working for a security guard called Rackham. Brought him information about inmates, got certain jobs done for him. In exchange my life in prison was bearable, got me some advantages.” You exhaled sharply, trying to keep calm. Hernan had never talked about his time in prison before. ‘Got some jobs done’, those words were stuck in your mind. Did you really want to know more about that?

Hernan seemed to be insecure how to keep going. After a moment he continued, his voice now steadier but still with a hint of insecurity. “Y/N, I did some fucked up things back at Seagate and even though it feels like in a different life, I tell you, you never leave this shit behind completely. Honestly, I made a couple of enemies back then but when you mentioned that snake tattoo, I remembered two Mexican inmates, Juarez and Leon. I might have made both of them really angry and they have enough reasons to get revenge on me.”

Your mouth was dry. You felt like all of this wasn’t real. Two of Hernan’s ex-inmates using you to get revenge on him? Wasn’t that exactly why you left him in the first place? Getting as far away as possible from the crime, the lies, the intrigues. And yet here you were, deeper in than you’ve ever been before.

And before you had a chance to stop yourself, the words came out of your mouth. “That’s why I left, you know? Why I should be far away from you now, from all of this.” You could see the hurt clearly on Hernan’s face, even though it was there for just a moment, before his intense and calculating stare focused on you again.

“Y/N”, his voice, raspy and smooth, reached your ear. You tried your hardest not to meet his gaze. “I understand you, but this doesn’t matter right now. They’re trying to hurt you because I love you. And that won’t change any time soon.” You felt a lump form in your throat, as a mixture of confusion and irritation took hold of you. These were the words you were most afraid to hear from him.

“Look, I promise you to take care of this, but in the meantime I need to make sure you’re safe. I need you to stay here until this issue is resolved.” The way he patronized you made your confusion turn into annoyance. You weren’t a child anymore. You laughed dryly. “And do what? Live together with you like nothing happened? Like we’re still a thing?” Hernan’s jaw tightened for a moment as he fought to stay calm. “No, Y/N. I need you to stay here until I took care of this. Then you’re free to go as far away from me as you want.”

Hernan’s focus was drawn towards his phone, as it vibrated inside his pocket. Checking his phone, he quickly got up. “I need to leave again. You should go to bed, I’ll take the couch once I’m back.” You simply nodded, overwhelmed by the whole situation and your mixed feelings.

Taking his shades on and walking towards the door, he stopped one last time, turning to you. “I really wish the circumstances of our reunion would be more pleasant.” With these words he walked out, leaving you behind more confused than ever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being stuck in Hernan’s apartment for days, you find it more and more difficult to keep your distance from him.

Nothing much had changed since your involuntary reunion with Hernan. He only gave you few information on his progress, not that you had expected anything else. What he had told you was that Cage had provided some of his men to help him in finding Juarez and Leon and that the issue would be resolved soon. At this point you were almost relieved you didn’t know how exactly he planned to ‘resolve’ the problem.

Sitting on Hernan’s couch, you took a sip from the large tea cup in your hands. Inevitably your mind wandered back to your other problem, one that couldn’t be solved with violence and that seemed to get worse and worse with every day you were trapped in this place. You had been foolish enough to think you were over Hernan, the last days had painfully showed you just how wrong you were.

He still had this power over you, to make you nervous with just one gaze from him, to make your skin crawl with just one word. And worst of all, to lull you into believing every single word he said. You’ve been struggling for days to keep your distance, both physically and emotionally, but concerning the situation, you found it to be more and more difficult, as your own mind and body threatened to betray you.

Your gaze darted up to the clock again. 2 am. He was still out there and as much as you tried to tell yourself that you were just sitting here, unable to sleep because you were brooding over all your aforementioned problems, you had to admit to yourself that you were worried about him.

_Shouldn’t he be back by now?_   
_What if he’s hurt?_   
_What if he got killed?_

You quickly shook off the thought, telling yourself that Hernan wasn’t out there alone, and even if you usually didn’t like that fact, he knew what he was doing.

Checking your phone the third time in 5 minutes and taking the last sip of tea, you decided that another cup wouldn’t hurt, so you made your way towards the kitchen. Just as you opened the kitchen cupboard to get the tea tin, you heard the key turn inside the lock.

Immediately forgetting about your tea, you hurried out of the kitchen, facing a bruised and battered Hernan just a few moments later. His face showed several wounds and a cracked lip, the rest of him not looking much better. And wasn’t there dried blood on his chin? Shocked from what you saw, you completely forgot to mask your concern and rushed to his side. “Shit, Hernan, what the hell happened?” Hissing in pain as he got out of his coat, he made a dismissive gesture towards you. “It’s fine, nothing too bad.” You were baffled. “Nothing too bad?”, you repeated slowly as you examined Hernan’s various wounds. “You look like you got run over by a train or something.” Your last words came out shriller than intended and now you internally cringed at your 'worried girlfriend behavior’, already mentally scolding yourself for it.

Despite the seriousness of the situation a small smirk formed on Hernan’s lips. “Still so worried about me, aren’t you?” Crossing your arms, you huffed, rolling your eyes at him. “Well surprise, Hernan. I don’t want you to get yourself killed.” Gesturing at his woulds, you added: “We need to disinfect that.” Pushing past you, he only waved you off again. “It’s nothing, really. You should go to bed, you look exhausted.” Grasping his arm softly, you made him stop. “Let me help.” Noticing how close the two of you were now, you felt heat build up inside you and found it hard not to blush. Hernan’s eyes wouldn’t leave yours, when he nodded.

Cursing yourself for getting into a situation like this, you followed Hernan to the bathroom, where he sat down on the edge of the large bathtub, watching you, as you gathered up everything you needed.

Turning to him, you started cleaning the several cuts and wounds in Hernan’s face. Getting more and more nervous as his eyes were constantly on you, you decided to break the silence. “So are you going to tell me how this happened?” Not changing his expression at all, he replied, his voice calm and collected. “You know it’s safer for you, if you…” You sighed exasperatedly. “… don’t know too much. Yeah, I expected that.”, you finishing his sentence for him.

Trying your hardest to concentrate, you proceeded to clean the wounds in his face, using a washcloth. Not taking his eyes off you, he replied, his voice now more insinstent. “Y/N, you’re the only person in this damn city I can really trust. And I wanna tell you about everything that’s going on, believe me. But my main priority has always been to keep you safe.” Keeping quiet, you went on with your tasks, not having the right words anyway. Signaling him to take off his shirt, you were relieved to find his upper body in a better condition than you had feared. Concentrating on a wound on Hernan’s upper arm, you thought about his last words. After a while, you finally found the right response. “You tell me that being open with me is a risk, I get that. But don’t you think it’s on me to decide whether to take it or not?” Hernan tried to cut you off but you wouldn’t let him. “All I wanted was to be a part of your life, to understand what you do, why you do it.” You sighed. All these things, you’ve wanted to tell him for months, that you never had the chance to put into words, now finally burst out of you.

“You kept lying to me, making up stories to please me, buying me stuff to keep me from asking questions. But that’s not how it works, you know. I’m done with the lies.” At this point you had to struggle not to break out in tears. Taking a deep breath, you interrupted your rant as you finally finished disinfecting Hernan’s wounds.

Taking a step back, you ran a hand through your hair, before quickly putting the items you used back where they belonged. “I’m finished here. I should go to bed.”, you stated, making a move to exit the bathroom, but Hernan was quick get on his feet, grab your wrist and spin you around.

You felt a little dizzy, not sure whether it came from him suddenly being so close to you or from being spun around like that just moments before. All you could do was look up at him, completely incapable of handling the situation. That was it, the point were you had to get away from him, were you had to tell him to stop, tell him that there was no chance for him to get you back. Because there was no chance. Right?

As if he could read your mind, Hernan replied, his face just being inches away from yours. “You’re everything to me. You’re the only thing that keeps me sane, I wanna leave all this shit behind, just for you. And I will, but I need you to trust me.”

Tightening his grip around your waist, he came just a litte bit closer. You were completely captured by his voice, his scent, his appearance. “I swear, I’ll do whatever it takes to call you mine again, if there’s still a chance for us. So just say that you’re done with us and I promise you’ll never hear from me again after this. But if there’s any chance…”, he stopped, looking at you with a vulnerability in his eyes, you had never seen before. A tear you couldn’t hold back anymore, ran down your cheeks.

Using the last strength you had within you, you broke free from his grasp, tumbling backwards. “I can’t.”, was all you got out before you turned around and hurried towards the bedroom, not seeing Hernan’s hurt expression as you slammed the door behind you.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make a bad decision, which leads to a confrontation with Hernan that might have been long overdue.

You had paced around in the apartment for hours, pondering on whether you should risk it or not. Hernan had been out all day, just like the day before and today marked the 10th day you were stuck in his apartment. He had told you to stay in more than once and you knew he was right. But slowly you started to feel like you were going crazy. All you wanted was to get some fresh air to clear your mind. Besides, you felt hungry and more than anything you craved one of those burgers from your favorite burger joint, which was only 20 minutes from Hernan’s place.

_What’s the worst that can happen?  
_ _Nobody knows where I am, right?  
_ _I’ll be back in less than one hour._

After a few more minutes of brooding, your decision was made, so you grabbed Hernan’s spare key and your jacket and left the apartment. If there had been any worries left, they vanished the moment you closed the door behind you and felt the soft evening sun shine on your face. Closing your eyes for a moment, you enjoyed the fresh air, before making your way down the street. It was getting dark quickly and only a few people were out in this part of the city. But you were sure you had made the right decision, a bit of fresh air, a short walk and a visit at the burger joint. And you’d be back soon enough so Hernan wouldn’t notice.

Hernan’s behavior towards you had changed since you had rejected him a few days ago. While he was still acting as politely towards you as before, his tone had become slightly colder, his attitude a bit more dismissive. And while you should have been glad about the fact that Hernan seemed to accept your break-up as final, your own feelings seemed to develop the opposite way. More than once you caught yourself wondering if rejecting him had been the right decision. Maybe he deserved a second chance, wasn’t he the one who saved you? But was it too late now? And did he really leave his past behind? 

Lost in your thoughts, you barely paid attention to your surroundings. You knew the way by heart, as you had walked it often enough back when you still had been with Hernan. Ten minutes later you turned right into a smaller street. Immediately noticing that there wasn’t anyone around, an uncomfortable feeling build inside your stomach.

_Maybe I should’ve stayed home?  
_ _What if they know where I am?_  
_Stop being paranoid.  
_ _You’re almost there._

Pushing your worries aside, you walked faster. But when you heard the slamming of a car door and footsteps behind you, it made your blood run cold. They must have found you, this was it. Just then a familiar voice reached your ears. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”, Hernan’s usually calm voice was filled with outrage. You stopped dead in your tracks. While you were relieved the footsteps didn’t belong to one of your persecutors, an outraged Hernan wasn’t making you feel that much better either. Swallowing hard, you slowly turned around and faced him.

Hernan stood by his car with his jaw clenched and a sparkle of fury in his eyes came to light, as he took off his shades. You had never seen him like this before. You tried to sound calm when you answered, but failed miserably, a nervous tone vibrating in your voice, revealing your sense of guilt. “Hernan, I thought I’d-”, you began, but he cut you off. “You thought what, Y/N? You thought walking around alone when there’s someone after you is a good idea? And for what? What’s so important, that it couldn’t wait?" 

You bit on your bottom lip. He wasn’t wrong, but his sharp tone really got to you. "I’ve been in this damn apartment of yours for 10 days, Hernan. I really just wanted to go for a walk to clear my mind.” Making a few steps towards you, he put something out of the pocket of his coat and held it towards you. It was your phone, you must have forgotten it at the apartment. “And it’s not like you could have at least taken your phone with you?” You mentally cursed yourself for leaving your phone at Hernan’s place. How could you be so reckless?

You wanted to say something but Hernan wasn’t done. “Do you have any idea what could have happened? And how fucking worried I was, when I came home to an empty apartment and your phone left behind?” At this point he stood directly in front of you, still staring at you with narrowed eyes. Maybe it was the bad conscience you were trying to suppress or all the unspoken things still standing between the two of you, but something inside you boiled over. 

“You tell me you were worried? Well guess how I felt all those nights when I was waiting for you to come home, asking myself whether you’d been arrested or shot. Or all these times you told me stuff and I kept wondering how much of it was even true and how well I even knew the man that claimed to love me. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have left today but don’t tell me anything about being worried, Hernan, because that’s how I’ve been feeling for quite a long time, thanks to you.”

Hernan sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair, trying to calm himself down. “Y/N, I know how you feel and that it’s my fault you’re in this situation after all, but all I’m trying to do is to protect you. I can’t expect you to trust me, but I need you to work together with me or I won’t be able to help you. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.” You awkwardly looked at your shoes, pressing your lips together. Your anger had vanished and made room for something else. Before you could say something, Hernan turned around and walked back to his car. “We should drive home. The streets aren’t safe.” Without protesting, you followed him and got to the passenger side.

***

The ride had been quite, both of you dwelling on your own thoughts. By the time you reached Hernan’s place, none of you had spoken a word. As you got out of your jacket, Hernan already disappeared into the living room. Holding a short inner debate with yourself, you decided you just couldn’t leave the situation like this, so you quickly followed your ex-boyfriend into the living room. “Hernan.”, you addressed him carefully, which made him turn around. 

Just now, you noticed how exhausted he looked. He did all these things to protect you, to make up for what he had done and you thanked him by being reckless. “I’m sorry.”, you said, avoiding eye contact with him. Hernan shook his head. “I should be the one apologizing, should have for a long time. All these damn lies and secrets got between us and it’s my own fault you hate me now.” Your eyes shot up to his face, just to see his troubled expression, full of regret. “I don’t hate you.”, you said quietly. “I tried to, but I couldn’t.”

Hernan’s gaze went to your eyes, searching for answers. You swallowed heavily. “It would be easier for me if I could hate you. Easier to get over you. But after all that happened my feelings for you haven’t changed.” You tried to look away, unable to hold his gaze, but Hernan’s hand touched your chin and lifted it up, so you had to look into his dark eyes. “Maybe we can go back to the way things were.”, his voice, now low, almost hypnotic, echoed inside your head. “Baby, tell me what it takes to earn your trust back. Take all the time you need, just tell me there’s still a chance." 

That was it. Your heart had made its decision, this was what you wanted. Him. But you had to set conditions. "No more lies, no more secrets.”, you stated, looking at him steadily. A faint smile flashed over Hernan’s face as he repeated your words. “No lies, no secrets.” Before you could say something, he captured your mouth in a passionate kiss, causing you to melt into him, finally able to let go. When you pull away, you immediately missed the contact. Hernan took both yours hands and looked at you. “I promise.”


End file.
